Three Good Things

So Facebook has this 'challenge' called the "Gratitude Challenge" where you are challenged by a friend to list three things you are grateful for each day for five days and post them to Facebook. Initially I rejected the idea thinking- I practice gratitude every day, do I really need to 'go public' with it? In fact my 'challenger' friend led her challenge with the statement that I do not need any help counting my blessings. I still wondered: Do others really want to hear what I am grateful for?
I accepted the challenge because I liked the words of William Arthur Ward who said "Feeling gratitude and not expressing it is like wrapping a present and not giving it."  I also thought the only challenge about finding things to be grateful for is the challenge of remembering to post something on Facebook every day!

Turns out posting my gratitudes has been so easy and so reassuring that I don't want the challenge to end... The gratitude posts of my Facebook friends have been a delight to read. Some are beautifully written, some are poetic (literally - Haiku gratitudes), so many are insightful and spiritual. Some of the posts are bittersweet, for those who have lost a loved one.  Being grateful for the days you spent together hardly fills the emptiness of the days since they've been gone. Finding gratitude in memories can be a stretch...

This challenge reminds me of an activity we do at Hearts of Hope Family Grief Camp. Once pajamas are on, teeth are brushed and, if you're lucky, Karen has serenaded you with her guitar, campers, of all ages, are encouraged to take a few deep breaths and then think about three good things that happened that day.  Doesn't have to be big, huge things, it's the little things that are good.  The yummy mashed potatoes for dinner, meeting a new friend, hearing a favorite song. The activity is based on research that proved if you spend a week thinking of three good things your level of happiness increases and depression decreases (Seligman, Peterson & Steen, 2005). The study showed this effect can last as long as six months.

In the same study the researchers had participants write a letter of gratitude to someone who had been kind to them, even if they didn't know them personally. Again this activity significantly increased the
happiness index (they actually have ways of measuring happiness) and decreased depression (using the diagnostic Beck Depression Inventory). During the last sharing circle at Hearts of Hope everyone writes a thank you note to whoever it was that helped them get to camp. To their funeral director, their school social worker, their mom or a general thanks to one of our generous donors.  I've had the pleasure of hand-delivering one of those notes to an 'anonymous' donor and believe me the level of happiness increases for the recipient of a gratitude note as well as the writer.

Maybe Facebook figured out what we did at Hearts of Hope - being grateful for the good things and letting people know about it really can make you happier and less depressed, we like to say it 'brings hope and healing'.  What are you grateful for? Who do you want to tell?